My Heart Can Not Lie
by EndlessRedFire
Summary: Tabby is a woman lost in love with the one man that she can never have. Malcolm...once her only friend; now who is he? The eldest son of the Duke of Gatherton. Malcolm has return home after many years with a secret that can destroy a kingdom. She wants him but can she handle all that he has to give or will she be consumed by him. Love,secrets, and betrayal. "Don't say no"
1. Chapter 1

My Heart Can Not Lie

The night was still in the cold damp marsh. Tabby was never late; for she knew the object of her one true desire would never fail her. Malcolm Gatherton was the eldest son of the Duke of Gatherton. The family has a very honorable rich history that dates back hundreds of years. Tabby... well she didn't know who she was; to be exact. Having been raised on a farm by a blind woman name Cora that she loved more than life itself. Cora did the best she could but a deep desire to know who she was, always call to her soul. Cora told her that one night a loud knock and a baby's cry awoke her from her sleep. That was the night she opened the door to find Tabby; left alone with no words as to where she was from or whom she belonged to. Cora always called Tabby her angel; sent to save her lonely soul. To Tabby, Cora was her mother.

Tabby left home to work in Gatherton castle when she was but 12; to work in the kitchen. Cora could no longer care for her. She broke her hip in a fall and never fully recovered. Tabby was more than willing to help with the hopes that; one day she may make a better living for them both. She knew she could never hope to marry well and was determine to save as much as she could.

In her youth, Tabby and Malcolm played together often outside of the castle. She was never allowed to play with him any other time. Malcolm was always kind to her and never cared about wealth or lineage. When he left to foster her heart broke into a thousand pieces. The day he returned was one of celebration and joy but she was not allowed to partake in it. Now twenty and one; every girl and most women couldn't ignore that he was devilishly handsome. Every mother put their daughters before him in the hopes that he would marry one of them. She became a shadow to him as if he did not know her anymore and it hurt deeply. Her days became repetitive and empty. She passed him many times, serve him food, but he never took his eye off of his food or other guest. Never once did he look her way. Only a polite thank you or that will be all…nothing more.

Tabby could have never imagined in her dreams that he would look as he did the first day he returned with half of the Duke's army at his command. He rode in on a black beast that was magnificent but it was Malcolm that stole her breath away. Hair as black as raven's wings curled again the dampness of his sun kissed skin. Malcolm was no longer the skinny boy she remembered but beneath is damp tunic was body built for battle, lethal like a predator. He towered over most of his men as he dismounted. His blue trousers fit him like a second skin showing every muscle in his powerful thighs as he marched right pass her. This was not the boy that left her but a man in every way. Malcolm was a beautiful child but now he was a manifestation of everything male. He stalked toward the castle with purpose. His smoky gray eyes never once looked her way as he called out commands to his knights. "Mcclain see to the men I have to see my father now." She wanted to call out to him; but she knew things were different. He was a son of a Duke and this man did not know she existed anymore. She meant nothing to him.

Tabby kept her heart's desires a secret for she knew if found out she would no longer be permitted to work in Gatherton Castle. Malcolm was seen less and less in the castle most days. He was learning everything there was to know about his people. He also did things for the King but no one knew what exactly. The Dukedom would someday be his to control. Tabby missed him so deeply it made her heart bleed just to see him go. He was the only friend that she ever had. First it was days but the last time he left he was away a fortnight. When he returned to the castle his behavior was very strange as if he was uneasy about something. He would leave under the cover of darkness. He never took men with him and never left out of the front gates. "I have to know where you're going Malcolm. Who are you now?" a question that left her wanting."

This night like many before it was the same; Malcolm approached on horseback like a phantom through the mist. Tabby still did not know why he came to this place every night for the past few months but tonight she would find out. The marsh was three miles outside of Gatherton. No one ever venture into the marsh at night alone it wasn't safe; especially for a woman…at least the smart ones. Something splashed into the water next to Tabby scaring her senseless. "Oh my…oh" She screamed out as she falls back into the mud. "Great now what am I to do? " The cold mud slides through her fingers as she tries to right herself. "Who's there; show yourself." Malcolm's deep voice rumbles through the darkness. Tabby doesn't move as fear and longing soaks into her bone deep. "Please no Malcolm don't find me like this…" Sudden footfalls in her direction make her want to run but he would catch for sure; That would mean no job, not food, and starvation. Suddenly this did not feel like such a great idea anymore. Just as all seemed lost and Tabby readied her tongue to lie for her life; a soft, very feminine voice calls out to Malcolm. "Malcolm there is no need to worry yourself. There are many things that move through the marsh at night, it's probably a frog. Stop worrying so we are safe here." Tabby could feel her heart hammering in her throat. "But I'm sure I heard a voice call out, my lady." He hesitates and she prays he will listen to...her. The soft breeze carries his scent across the marsh to her, he is near. She was sure he would hear her heart raging in her chest as it threatened to shatter all over again. Still she could not stop her senses from enveloping his essence. "We really need to move out of this marsh, you know. It's too close to the village. I can't let anyone see me come here." He laughs as he walk away; she dare not move. Relief floods her senses causing her to take a much needed breath. "I can't keep this up but I must know; who is she and who is she to him?" Up until this night she never heard a word from the person inside of the small cottage, only soft light and shadows dancing through the window. This night was worth almost being caught but deep inside did she really want to know who the voice belong to. She would wait and watch because turning away now was something she could not do.

Something deep inside drove her here every night. Her mind knew it was stupidity but her heart would not relent. "I can't believe I'm sitting here, in the cold muddy marsh instead of my bed. Tabby he doesn't want you. Why are you following him like this? He doesn't even know you exist anymore." she tried to reason with herself to no avail. She knew she would be back again at the same time tomorrow if that meant finally resolving herself…her feelings…to what end. She knew she was no one and he was the future Duke of Gatherton. "Tabby this is truly nonsense. Even if Malcolm wanted you; the Earl would never allow it."

The hours passed by and nothing. The chill in the air and things moving in the dark finally gave way to reason. Hot tears of humiliation and clarity finally brought Tabby to her feet to leave. "This is lunacy; I'm leaving. He's probably making love to her now. Tabby you're so stupid. Just let go of him...wait...you never had him; he will never me yours."

Tabby was lost in her thoughts during the long trek back to her village, when a low growl broke through the eerie silence of the moon lit night. The breeze made the trees whisper which normally brought her comfort but she knew it wasn't a the leaves that she heard. Walking faster keeping to the shadows; she was almost there. She knew not to look back but her reason did not agree with her fear. Pulling her hood down and gathering her cloak around her; she crouched behind a tree. "Please let me make it to the tavern outside of town and I'll never do this again." She was so close to the main road but she knew as she breath that she would never make it. Just as she made to run for it. "Don't move or I will slit your throat wench."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Tabby's body trembled with fear and she wanted to cry out for help but no one would come; they were the only ones here. This was all her fault and she knew everyone would see it as such. "Please sir I have nothing of value." Strong hands grab her from behind, "I will determine if you have anything of value or not. He spoke with a French accent that she couldn't quit follow. He was angry, "I'm sorry I really don't have anything. I was on my way home to my…my sick mother. She needs me and I would hate to disappoint her. She knows I'm coming; So if you would please…" her words tremble with fear and did not sound true to her own ears. "The marsh is a long way from the village…why are you here?" She tried to turn toward her captor but he pulled her firmly against him instead. "Why…are…you here chit." His breath was hot against her face and she could tell from his words he did not believe her. "I know I…I shouldn't be out alone but I have no one else to see to my wellbeing. I needed to travel for medicines…" she just made a mistake that she knew would cost her. "Show them to me." Her head fell forward and she knew she was found out. "Sir, I think you know as much as I, I do not have them. I can only ask you to release please. I beg you no harm." He laughed, "Don't move one inch" than suddenly something was around her eyes. "Who sent you here this night. You a young woman alone in the marsh; are you a spy." Tabby couldn't swallow pass the lump in her throat threatening to choke her. He thought her, a no body a spy; that was laughable. OK maybe she was spying a little. "Sir I assure you, I'm no one's spy. I'm a servant at Gatherton Castle. I work in the kitchens and my name is Ta…Tara and I'm telling you the truth." She screamed to keep from crying. "I'm out here for my own reasons and for nothing more. Please let me go; I beg you." He said nothing for a long moment before speaking. "I'm sorry but I can't chance you telling anyone anything. You have to come with me. I will not harm you…for now." He grabbed her arm and began pulling her back the way she came. "No, no I can't go back that way. I…I…well I just can't. Who are you anyway? Let go of me." He took an impatient breath and continued to walk dragging her behind. His fingers her so strong and the longer she fought be weaker she became. Tabby knew she had to find a way out of this but she just did not know how. "If you let me go. I will never speak of this night to anyone…I haven't even seen you face. I can assure you; I want to forget it myself." He stopped and turn toward her. "Why?" that one word weighed very heavy on her shoulders and she was too embarrassed to speak of it; especially to him. There was no threat in his question. "It's a long story and one that I will never tell to anyone. It shames me and I want to forget it alright." Who is this French man and why is he here?

They continued on for a long time before stopping to mount a horse. This is when her heart beat as if leaping from her chest. He vaulted on the horse behind her pulling her body close to his without a word. She felt every movement of his body against her own. His body was hard and solid. He was a young man. He did not smell bad and his words were of a man of means. Tabby was only in the company of other servants, villagers, and her mother. No man had ever touched her in her life more than this man tonight. "Where are you taking me…I really want to go home. My mother is alone and blind sir. She will need me to help her. I really need to go to her. Please, please let me go. I'm no spy…I'm no one. This is the truth of it." He leaned into her shoulder his lips brushed her ear. "You are someone but I am starting to believe that spy you are not. However, I can't take chances at least for tonight. You will be safe but you will stay with me until I know what to do with you." Tabby didn't know why but she believed him; she wanted to see his face. Who was this man and what does he want with her?

"We will stop here for tonight. Don't ask where here is because I will not tell you; just know you're safe. I will not touch you or harm you in anyway." Tabby was exhausted and only wanted to sleep. She knew her mom would not be looking for her she slept at the castle some nights and would not miss her. Mrs. Cotter would see to her mom tomorrow if she wasn't home. "Alright but you are wasting your time with me. I'm no spy and I have no connections that would bring you any fortune." She tried not to cry but she was emotionally exhausted. He was so close to her; she could feel his warm breath against her face. He lifted her hood and took a step back. "You look so…hmm" He took her hand and they began to walk again. This time she stumbled but before she could fall strong arms were around her. She was now cradled in his arms. "Thank you, sir…but you can put me down now." He didn't respond but suddenly she felt warmth and voices all around her. They climb stairs, she heard a door open, close, and then everything was silent once more. "Please remove this blindfold, I won't run." He sat her down on what felt like a chair. "You may remove it but first I need to know a few things. I want honest answers and trust me I will know if you lie to me. Is this anyway unclear?" there was an unspoken threat and she knew not to challenge it. Tabby knew that if she wanted to go home then the truth would be the only thing to set her free. "Alight what do you want to know? I don't know who you are, this hardly seem fair." The tension in the room seem to ease as he sat a chair in front of her. "First, why were you out in the marsh alone and at that hour?" Tabby thought of how to tell the truth without telling the whole of it. "It's rather embarrassing really." He hesitated but knew she had to tell the truth. He waited and said nothing. Tabby bit her lip and twisted her fingers in her lap. "I was following a gentleman. I wanted to know where he was going and whom he was going to see." He responded immediately. "Did you find what you were looking for?" He bit her lip to hold back her tears. "Yes… and I wish I had not." She waited to see if he wanted more; he didn't keep her waiting. "Why were you following him? You had to have a reason; is he your lover." Tabby felt as if the floor opened up to swallow her in. "I…lo…care for him. He is not my lover but the lover of another; now I know. Please say that is enough for you or I will die of embarrassment. Just know that tonight was the last time that I will ever…ever…follow him." He took a deep breath and lean back in his chair. "If you love him then why don't you just tell him. Don't follow him like some love sick puppy. You're a brave one to be out alone little dove. He is not worth your life. Surely there are other young men that would have your hand." He was teasing her and it hurt. It made her feel foolish. She was angry, embarrassed, and was sure that her face was rose red. "Sir, you over step and I will not answer any more of your questions. Just know that I will never do it again. He doesn't want me…that's all I will say about it." She wanted to disappear or scream instead she just waited. "He did not say anything for a long while. She could feel his eyes caressing her. The heat in the room began to rise but it was a heat that shouldn't be there. The only sounds in the warm room was the crackle of the hearth and sound of her heart beating in her ears. "I didn't mean to cause you pain but I needed to know that you were not a spy. Danger surrounds me at all times and I have to know my enemy; even if it she has a pretty face." He stood before her and she thought he would remove her blindfold but instead he removed her hair bindings and her chestnut curl fell to her waist. Her heart hammer so loudly she thought she may be dying. "Please don't do this. I do not know man in that way…I would be a disappointment to you." She trembled as his fingers caressed her face softly before pulling away. "I told you I would not hurt you and I will not. Trust me when I say you would be a disappointment to no man. I don't understand why you say such things. Hold you head up at all times because you are a beauty…Tara… if that is your name." This soft timber is his voice felt like a lover's touch. How could he make her feel this way. He was her captor. "I will let you go. Tomorrow there will be a man by the name of Sam that will take you back to your village. Talk the inn keeper and he will know what to do. The only thing that I ask of you…that you say nothing of this to no one. Can I trust you? My life and many other hang in the balance of your silence." She didn't know what to say; he was letting her go. His touch still kissed her skin and her lips did not want to move for fear he would change his mind. "Yes, yes you can trust me. Thank you. Are you in danger sir?" He turned away and made for the door but stopped before leaving the room, "I'm always in danger, it's my constant companion. Know that I will be watching you and listening. I have ears everywhere and I will know if you speak of this to anyone. This will not be our last meeting. Sleep well this night or what's left of it little dove no harm will befall you. Until next time...Tara." She wanted to call to him and plead that there was no need to follow her; but strangely she wanted to hear his voice again. She knew she should be afraid of him but there was something about his presence that call her to. She wanted to know him. Why was he in the marsh. Who was he running from.

"No, no, no Tabby stop this you can't keep chasing phantom men all over England." She reasoned with herself; but would she listen. She removed her blindfold and walked over to the bed. She walked to the window and a storm was on the horizon…in more way than one. Her mind would not work. She wanted to flee now but knew he would follow. He told her what to do and she would see it done. He let her go and that is all that mattered. Soon after darkness took her to strong hands and velvet whispers. For the first time in a long time Malcolm did not lay claim to her dreams but a voice in the shadow…who was he?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: The Truth**

The sun's warm fingers dance upon Tabby's skin; through the broken window. Her dreams were blissful intrigues of the velvet whispers of her captor. Part of her scream that it

was madness and the other wanted more of him. A rapid knock at the door woke her with a start. "Miss, you need to rise. Sam is here to collect ye, and take ye back to ye

village." She blinked taking in her surroundings; last night actually happened. "I'll be right there…and thank you." She heard footsteps descending with a few grumbles about

drunken wenches.

Within minutes Tabby was downstairs staring into the eyes of many strange men. A few were sleep at the tables, other drunk beyond standing, and others greedily drinking her

in. "Sammy", She called to no one in particular. Suddenly a man looked to be bred for one purpose…war...stalked toward her. "I'm Sammy, my orders are to take you to your

village; at once." He said so that only she could hear. He grabbed her by the elbow and led her out the door. She noticed in leaving no one questioned him or stared at her any

longer. "I can find my way back sir just point me in the right direction, no need to trouble…" He turned to her and held his hand out to hand her up into the back of a wagon. "I

will do as instructed and so will you." He left not room for debate as he smiled. "Alright, but just outside of the village; I don't want anyone to think…" He smiled a warm smile

that brighten his entire face, "I can assure you no one will question. I have something for you to cover yourself with…It's a parting gift of sorts from our mutual friend. It's in

back next to the bucket of apples." He winked at her and climb onto the front of the wagon with ease. "Alright but I don't want anything…" She opened the clothe wrapping and

inside was a dark green cloak with a gold leaf embroidered into the collar. It was beautiful and much to expense for her station in life. She began to wrap it back when Sammy

looks over his shoulder. "It's not a request miss; please put it on. I assure you it's for your own safety." She nodded and as she removed its wrap and covered herself with it. It

was velvety soft; she never had anything this lovely. She fingered the cloak as her thoughts melted into the horrors of last night and the shocking but surprising ending. The

wagon began to move and suddenly she felt as if she could breath for the first time. She closed her eyes and unknowingly hummed a tune to herself. "Miss when we get to the

marsh; cover your head with your hood and don't say another word until your inside your home. Remember everything that was told to you and you will be alright. We don't

wish you harm but there are others that might if they knew where you were last…" he snorted. "I agreed and I never break a promise. Now if you would leave me with my

thoughts sir; I've had a time of it and wish to forget." He chuckled to himself and made to push the wagon faster.

Sundown was upon them when the village came into view. "We are here miss, listen to me carefully. This will not be the last time you see me. I will be here in the morning to

take you to the castle. Don't ask why and know that you are in safe hands. Go straight to your mother; she has been seen to and knows that you spent your night... at the

castle. There was food sent to her and if she speaks of it; just say the Duke was kind and leave it at that." Tabby stared at stranger in disbelief; not knowing rather to say a curse

or a word of thanks. It felt more like her life was no longer her own and she did not like it one bit. "My life is my own and I will say what happens to…" He held up a hand to

silence her; "You forfeited that right when you decided to walk the marsh alone at night, be thankful for the kindness being paid to you. Someone else could have found you and

the outcome would have been much different." She cringed knowing his words to be true. Again, it's for your safety…leave it be." He winked at her with a crooked smile and

drove away. She was so angry she wanted to punch something…him would be nice.

She stood watching his broad back as he rode away. "He is insane if he believes one minute that I would let some…one; whoever he is dictate my life. I will not allow it." She

turned on her heels and headed into the small but cozy cottage. The smell of flowers danced on the breeze she was home.

The warmth inside and the constant smell of lavender invaded her senses as she turned to greet her mother's open arms. "Oh mother, it's good to see you. She embraced her

mother for a long moment and taking comfort in her familiar peace." Her mother brushed her hair with her fingers as she often did. "What's wrong dear you're practically

shaking. Are they working you to hard Tabby? I've often said you should take the job at the bakery in town." She was so hungry and the smell of fresh baked bread made her

stomach sing. "No, no mama I'm alright just a bit hungry." She shook her head and tried not to cry. "Yum, is that fresh bread I smell? Are we having stew this evening?" There

was no reply and Tabby knew there was a question coming. "Tabby, has something happen at the castle that you're not telling me? Has the Duke or anyone made to…well…take

liberties." Tabby went to her mother immediately, "Please don't think ill mother, nothing has happened I assure you. I'm tired is all. I will be like new on tomorrow, I just need to

eat and rest. Don't worry yourself." She hugged her and the tension in the room ended. The rest of the evening was spent at ease; discussing the farm, Mr. Worthington

daughter's marriage. However, once the conversation ended Tabby sighed rubbing her eyes; she was so weary. She clear the table and covered her sleeping mother with her

blanket near the hearth. It was her mother's favorite spot.

Finally, alone in her room Tabby let the stress, lose, fear, and the unsure of what she was feel find their way to her pillow in the form of tears. She was spent and alone she let it all go.

"Do you always cry when you're alone ma dame." She tried to scream but he was upon her before she had a chance. His soft gloved hand covered her mouth and the hooded

figure leaned over her; his face bathed in shadow. "Now I know you remember me. I told you it would not be our last meeting." She relaxed only slightly because she knew his

voice immediately; why that brought any comfort she wasn't sure. He relaxed breathing deeply. "It was told to me that you were undecided when it comes to your silence. That

can't possible me right, sweet Tara." Tabby shook her head rapidly.

He teased as his warm breath fanned against her cheek. He smelt of mint and clove. "If I remove my hand will you listen to me ma dame? Please don't scream or I will be forced

to take you with me. Is this any way unclear?" Fear gripped her but mostly another feeling shadowed it…curiosity. She could not see his face but his voice was as smooth as silk.

He removed his hand and made to sit in the chair by her window in the shadows. "Why are you here? Surely you know I have nothing to offer and I've already promised that I

would say nothing. I'm a woman of my word sir." She trembled from; what; she wasn't sure anymore. His body though cloaked emanated a powerful energy and presence that

made the room smaller somehow. She watched him and he watched her even if she couldn't see his eyes she felt them…all over. "Tara or shall I say Tabby if that is your true

name ma dame." His french accent teasing. "Listen, I didn't know if you meant me harm so I gave you another name; to protect my mother...and myself." He chuckled softly at

that before falling silent once more. "I'm no threat to you…I will not repeat it. Stand up and stand in the moon light Tabby...please. I need to see your eyes. I need to know that

you speak true. I've been told lies by many and I don't know who I can trust anymore. Can I trust you Tabby?" She stood on shaky legs as she tried to adjust her dress; ignoring

his question. She wasn't sure could trust herself so that answer would have to wait. She walked slowly into the moon light as it danced against her porcelain skin. "Look at me

ma dame. I need to see you." She wanted to say no; to demand to know why she was being tried and tested. To what end was all of this. Her sky blue eyes was alarming to

most, so she always look down. Kids always called her a Viking. No one had eyes in these parts such as hers. "Such…eyes I've only beheld… Remove the binding from your hair;

fair maiden." She was enslaved by his command and she didn't even know his name. His voice took on a huskier tone and she knew she needed to stop things; now. "Please sir,

why are you asking this of me? I know that I'm but a serv…" She could hear him breathing but he said nothing in response. Her own breath was rapid in her ear. "Your very fair

and your hair is much longer than is allowed for your station. You hide it from others but you haven't cut it…Don't…it becomes you." He noted that her hair shined like silver in

the moon light. He wanted to go to her, touch the silky locks. Make her see how beautiful she is. He wanted to but he could not…at least not this soon. "Tabby, I will need you to

do one finally thing for me and I will never come to you again. Do we have an agreement?" She did not understand why; but she didn't want it to be over. She bit her lip and

hoped her wants did not display on her face. She nodded because she didn't see any other way. "Can I sit now; I fear my leg will no longer hold me." He chuckled beneath his

cloak. "Yes shield maiden you may sit. I would hate to see you damage your beauty. It may be of use to me and I want you perfect as you are now. How are you not spoken

for?" Her heart hammered in her chest from his heated word; but why was he saying these things and why wasn't she screaming for him to leave. He walked with the grace of a

predator on the hunt. "Trust me sweet Tabby if I wanted to take you; I would have the first night. I have never forced a lady and I will never." He lifted her chin, "Close your

eyes Tabby. I will not hurt you." She was shaking as his finger graced her cheek sparking heat in its wake.

"I'm no lady sir, I'm only a s..sservant." She said as she felt she brush of his warm breath against her lips. "I'm not so sure about that anymore mademoiselle. Tabby, rank is not

what makes a lady; in my eyes. If given the choice to be a lady or to be free to do as your heart desires which would you choose." He brushed his open lips over her

chin and her body threaten to betray her. "I…I…want to be free…sir just to be…wanted and know who I am…" At her word he halted his seductions of her senses and stepped

away. "Do you not know yourself Tabby? What man wouldn't want you. Your right to cover up…for now." He walked toward her window. "I know you; and I will see that you find

yourself. Your more than you seem ma dame…much more. If only my time was my own sweet Tabby. Until next time." Tabby opened her eyes and he was gone but his touch

burned her to her core. Her wicked thoughts threaten to choke her. She was so confused. Malcolm came to mind and suddenly she felt ashamed of her wicked thoughts."Oh

Tabby what have you done?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Friendship of the Heart**

It was a beautiful day, the sun was warm, the birds sang their morning song. Tabby had just finish feeding the pigs when a shadow blocked out the sun. She turned to see

Sammy smiling with a look of mischief. "Ooooh, what do you want? I told you, I don't need a ride to the castle. Its but a few miles and I enjoy the walk." He shook his head and

grab the bucket from her hand. "I know we got off to a…well strange start but I don't want to be your enemy Tabby. Can we start over, I'm Sam actually only a few call me

Sammy." He extends his hand as a peace offering. Tabby had to admit he was only following orders and he wasn't unkind. Sam had kind chocolate brown eyes that couldn't lie.

He wasn't a farmer, no one had that many muscles without knowing battle. The old wounds covering his exposed arms and hands said it all. "Alright Sam, but no more demands

of me. Asking would be the polite thing to do, even if it's for my own good…whatever that means." Sam stepped closer to her; taking is both of her hands in one of his own.

"Many thanks; we may be spending a lot of time together so I would like us to be civil." She blinked as if she'd been slapped. Tabby frown at him with her hands on her hips,

"What do you mean a lot of time. I have to work and I can't lose my job…not now." He walked beside her as she made her way back to the cottage. "I work at the castle as well.

I'm a stable hand. That what I mean Tabby." She wanted to laugh but the honesty in his eyes told her he wasn't teasing her. "I've never seen you in the stables before." She

said turning to him. He looked away in thought before responding. "I use to be a knight but something happen that can't be undone and now I'm but a servant as yourself." She

wanted to pry but his sadness was clear on his face. "Would you like a blueberry tart before we head to the castle Sam?" His face lit up and he smiled. "I would love one; your

kindness is appreciated my lady." She smiled a true smile for him this time. "I'm no lady Sam." They were not that different and maybe; just maybe she could get him to give

her the name of her phantom stalker.

Tabby and Sam talked about everything from the farm to the huge party being thrown at the castle a few days hence. The ride to the castle was surprisingly pleasant and she

found that she enjoyed talking to someone new. "Will the Duke's son the Marquess of Fairborn be in attendance?" she asked casually not wanting to sound hopeful. "I'm not

sure; he's had his hands full with things lately. The Duke himself will be there; along with half of England's royalty. I've even heard the King himself may make an appearance."

Tabby was unsure if that was a good thing or not. When the royal drink heavily it's never a good time to be around. "I think I will keep to the kitchens as always." Sam smiled

and nodded. "I think that would be wise." Tabby bit her lip because she was unsure how to ask the next question…so direct it is. "Sam why do you work for the man that

captured me and who is he? It's obvious he is not of England. Is he an enemy or a friend to the crown?" Sam never looked her way but straight ahead as he replied. "Tabby I

like you but I will say this to make it very clear. I cannot speak of my lord no more than he will allow. I will tell you this; he is loyal to the crown. He is a man of means and I will

never betray his trust." He looked so resolve that she knew no response was needed. She was on her own in that search. "Alright Sam, I will ask no more. We are almost there

and it seem that from the looks of things I will be staying at the castle for some time. Could be kind to send a message to my mother for me." The castle was in an uproar

preparing. There was so many things to do…Tabby knew it would be a long day.

"Tabby are you ready to bring out the second course? "Ms. Potter called from the dining hall. "We have everything ready." Tabby prepared the trays as servants came in to collect

them. "Ivy, can you oversee the rest. I'm not feel at all myself I need to lay down?" Ivy smiled assured and waved her off. "I think ye need to rest a bit; you've done more than

ye share Tabby. Step out for a bit of fresh air; It will do ye good. No one's in the gardens." Tabby loved the gardens and were only about to enjoy them on a few stolen occasions

such as this one. "Many thanks Ivy." Tabby said as she rushed out of the kitchens inferno. Making her way through the many corridors to reach the expansive grounds of

Gatherton. Breathing deeply the rich earthy air surrounding her. Row and rows of roses, white, red, pinks, and yellow. The perfumed air made her sway in the cool no breeze.

These were the grounds that in her youth Malcolm and she would play the day long. The days she cherished most were down by the pond. So many fond memories she carried

with her. If only he remembered as she had. His friendship meant everything to her. Now his smile and kindness was for his lover. No long did his stormy eyes see her as before

she was invisible to him now. Lost in her thoughts the day had been maddening in the kitchens. Her fingers were still sore from cutting so many potatoes. The moon was high in

the sky and the stars danced in the heavens as she walked along the edge of the gardens toward her favorite spot. Tabby lean over to smell at primrose in bloom. She was finally

beginning to cool when suddenly someone stepped out in front of her; just down the path. She watched as the stranger jogged toward the pond. It was so dark he never saw

her there. She watched from the edge of the garden not wanting to disturb anyone. Tabby began to turn away until she heard an angry growl from the man. "Why in the blazes

will he not listen to reason. I cannot do this alone." The voice shook her to her core; it was Malcolm and he was angry. She watched as he ran his hands through is chestnut

locks as he paced spatting curses to himself. He still had an effect on her like no other. Why did he have to have a love? Tabby was lost in thought until she heard a rip. She was

afraid of what she would see; her mind saying no and her body demanding yes…please. Tabby opened her eyes to the most magnificent sight. Malcolm was by no means a boy

anymore. His body was a beautiful as if he was a living sculpture. Muscle flexed and glistened in the moon light and she could not look away. If damp curl kissed is sun brushed

skin. She wanted to go to him to demand he remember her but her heart just couldn't commit to it. Water ran down his back like the moon's silvery fingers dancing on his skin.

He was darker than she remembered but it only made her want him all the more. He dipped below the surface many time. Tabby smiled watching but when he went below the

surface and did not come back up. Tabby waited with baited breath know that he would, hoping that he would. He never did and her heart exploded as she ran and dove in after

him. She did not care if her clothes were ruined; she would not see him die. "Malcolm" Tabby screamed as she came up for air. "My God, MalcoLm…please…please." she cried as

she dove beneath the murky darkness of the pond reaching for him; finding nothing. Her lungs felt as if they burned of fire. "I'm sorry Miss but do I know you?" She turned to

see a very healthy, very wet, and very sexy Malcolm stand right behind her. His grey has dances as water dripped him is red sensual lip. She followed the trail of water to the V of

his waistline. He was even better than the dreams she had of him. His raptor gaze studying her closely, "Oh my, I thought you were dead. Dear God what…how…but I saw

you…" He took her trembling hand in his own. "Am I to understand you thought me drowning?" he smiled sheepishly. "Why yes I was there by the primrose when you…well…

didn't come back up." He moved closer to her, "So you were watching me?" Tabby moved her lips unsure how to answer because that's exactly what she was doing. "I was

getting a bit of air when I saw you dive in. I've never seen someone stay under so long…I" She began to move toward the shore feeling so confused and…hurt. He still did not

know who she was. "It comes with the territory." He mumbled more to himself. "What did you say? What territory is that Malc…my apologies my lord I over step; I bid you good

evening. I must go." She stepped on to the bank and pulls her now dripping kerchief from his hair and wring it out. Her hair tumbles down her back to her very wet but shapely

backside. Malcolm watches from the water as he makes his way to the bank and lay down on the lush grass. He takes in every svelte curve of her body. "Why were you in the

gardens and not inside?" she turns to him suddenly nervous and unsure. "I…I work in the kitchen…I'm but a servant my lord. I enjoy the gardens and I'm sorry…I was only

taking air…" His eyes explores her own; search the depths of her soul, "You spoke my name; why did you do that?" he narrowed his eyes and sit up waiting for a response. "I…I

hoped you would answer to your…Christian name if I spoke it. I just wanted to…I'm sorry my lord it will not happen again. May I take my leave now? I'm sure I've taken enough

of you time" He held is hand out to her and pat the ground next to him. "Come sit with me. I find that I'm in need of company. I was having a dreadful time this evening."

Tabby's looked around studying the shadows and hoping no one was about. "Alright my lord if you insist." He smiled up at her. "Let me help you to sit, your soaked thanks to

me." He opened his palm for her to take it. When their skin touched a fire blazed in her veins so strong it almost stole her breath away. She pulled her hand away as soon as she

could. Did he feel that? "So, little sparrow…how can I repay your kindness. Diamonds, pearl, let me think maybe a trip to Scotland." She shook her head and smiled at the irony

of that statement. "You owe me nothing I acted without thinking of myself; only of your life." He was silent so she turned to him, "Well That is noble of you. However, I want to

thank you just the same. What is your name?" he played with a string on his very wet trousers. The muscles of his stomach flex taunt breath his skin as he moved. Tabby

wanted to touch him; just to see if this moment was real. "It's Tab…Tabby." She waited for any sign of realization…anything at all. "He captured her eyes for so long she was

sure he would remember. "You are very lovely Tabby and regardless of your station I would like us to be friends." He took her hand and teased her finger tips, "When we are

alone you can call me Malcolm and I will call you Tabby. Equals will you agree?" His smile was so contagious so could only smile back and nod. However deep inside hopes of a

reunion died completely. She just could not bring herself to tell him who she was anymore. "I will like that very much indeed my lord…I mean Malcolm." He leaned back on his

arms and stared off into the darkness. "Friends are few and in between. I would love to add a lovely maiden to that small circle. I want to know you better and maybe loosen

that tongue up of yours. He was in jest but his words played out differently in her head. "You may change your mind about that my lord." She smiled and he moved closer to

her. "I think not; I know what I want at all times Tabby. Your company for tonight is one of those things. Will you come to my chambers later this evening?" Tabby dreamed of

this day so many times and what she would say or do. Now that the day was upon her she was speechless. "I…I thought we were to be friends…I don't…" her cheeks stained a

scarlet red. Malcolm laughed so hard that she thought him mad. "No, No Tabby you misunderstand, I want to talk." He moved to stand and help her up. "I'm sorry…it's just that

I..I thought…" He stood before her tipping her chin up for her to look at him. "You are very desirable I assure you; but I would not toy with you in that way. Friendship is all that

I can offer. Anything more could never be." A sadness played across his features before it disappeared. Go get yourself dry before you catch your death and meet me after

midnight in my chamber. I will be awake no matter the hour. Knock three long and one short. I will answer." He bowed with a smiled and walked away. Tabby watched his back

until he out of sight before falling to her knees and crying her heart out; with joy of him seeing her and a crushing sadness all at once. She was his friend once more; but never

will she be anything more than a friend and it threaten to choke the life from her very soul. "What am I going to do about you Malcolm?" I'm so confused.

Tabby made her way to the servant's quarters; to rest for a bit. She was emotionally exhausted. She stripped out of her wet clothing and slip into a shift. Sleep claimed her

thoughts, mind, body and soul. "Malcolm's name was the last whisper on her lips."


	5. Chapter 5 Crossed in Confusion

**Chapter: 5 Crossed in Confusion**

Tabby woke to the sound of tapping. "Why are you wet ma dame?" Tabby muffled her screams with her blanket. "What is the matter with you…whoever you are? You come and

go like the night scaring me to death. What could you possibly want me with at this hour?" Uncrossing his legs and spreading them out before him as if considering her question.

"Do you really want to know me Tabby? What is it that you really want to know about me?" He places both hands on his knees and slightly lean in her direction. The shadows

dance against the wall from the moon lit night hiding his features; making him appear a phantom against the darkness. "What…what is your name sir? I just want to know who

haunts my nightmares; for you do it often. I'm just trying to figure you out. You puzzle me greatly." He chuckles softly and stand making his way to the bed. "Is it your

nightmares that I haunt sweet Tabby or your most wicked dreams?" Tabby frowns knowing that he is in part right; but not wanting to admit it to herself or him. "You flatter

yourself; I don't even know you. I…I can't even see your face; for god sakes. Why in heavens do you hide yourself from me; if you want me to trust you?" she folders her arms

before her suddenly frustrated. He sits next to her on the bed and her heart begins to race…this is to intimate somehow. "I'm but a shadow to my true self sweet Tabby. I can't

tell you my Christian name for reasons that are my own; but you can call my Raven; but you mustn't tell anyone." Tabby tries to process the wave of emotions playing out in

her mind. Raven grabs her hand, "Close your eyes Tabby, I will show you that I trust you… as much as I can…for now;" Tabby takes a deep breath and closes her eyes, "I tire of

these games, Raven. You toy with me as if I'm but a puppet. You still haven't told me what you want from me." He chuckles gruffly and it rolls through her veins with a rapid

wave of heat. "This ma dame is no game. I will never toy with you. I need you and there is no one else that can take your place in what I'm about to do. If you want to see me;

you will have to see me with your touch. This is all I can offer you. Now, stand before me and do not open your eyes…I trust you Tabby." Her heart does a dance across her

chest. "I don't understand…You're going to let me touch you." Tabby did not know rather this was a good idea. She was too excited and it made her feel ashamed for her

feelings. "You don't have to…" He stood before her now, "You don't understand my sweet Tabby, there are two sides to this. You can touch me but I will also touch you. Will you

allow it?" he said running his finger down her arm. Her body shuttered with anticipation. Tabby suddenly felt as if she could not breath. "I don't think…where exactly will you

touch me, Raven." Her breathing was rapid as his finger gently trails from her hair to get chin. "From the moment I saw you, I've wanted to touch you…well let not talk about

that. I don't won't to frighten you away little one. Let's just say where ever you touch me…I will touch you there. I would choose carefully because this is a bargain struck. Now

touch me ma dame; where ever you want. I'm all yours to explore." Tabby's fingers tremble in anticipation for what was to come. She tried to reach out for him in her dreams;

but he would always disappear. Tabby knew nothing of men and her curiosity was eating her alive. Malcolm was all she ever wanted but he told her it would never be. She was so

drawn to Raven as if her very essences screamed to intertwine with his. She could not understand why and it confused her. With Malcolm was where her heart lye; but she

couldn't deny the way Raven made her feel. "Raven why are you allowing this? Aren't you afraid I will discover who you really are?" He leaned in and kiss the tip of her nose

then his lips hovered above her own. His breath was her own they were so close, "Firstly, I'm not afraid of anything. Secondly, you will never know unless I allow. Trust me many

have tried and fail ma dame. I'm in the shadows for a reason." Tabby's body was no longer her own as she swayed before him, "Thirdly, I allow you to touch me because I want

to feel something real, warm, and fresh…you. Your purity is a breath of fresh air from the corruption that surrounds me. In a few short days these interludes will be over and I

will not see you as I am this night. So let's not talk as strangers…I want you to know me as the man I am…Touch me Tabby. Make me feel…I need there just as much as you."

Tabby's hands move to his hood and slow remove it. His breathing rapid against her lips but he doesn't move. Biting her bottom lip picturing his intense eyes in her mind, "I can't

believe I'm doing this." A soft moan of pleasure escapes her lip as her fingers run through his spiky hair. The feel is as soft as the finest silk against the brush of her finger tips.

He moans and closes the distance between their bodies. "Don't be afraid mon ange; it's only you and I here…no one else. We can be who we are." That seem to drive fire into

her will. Her fingers grace down his strange muscular neck feeling as he swallows deep with want. He pulse beat against her finger tips. "Mon ange; you touch sooths my

taunted soul." Tabby wanted to know so much more but tonight she wanted to just feel. No words. Just feel him. "I want to touch your face Raven. I've thought of it…more

than I should. Will you allow it?" He chuckles and nips her finger with his teeth as she runs her thumb over his satin lips. The soft tip of his warm tongue touches her finger.

"Mmm; I could devour you whole mon ange. His words carried her into the cloud of her darkest fantasies of him. The stubble along his jaw tickle her fingers as she remembered.

She explored the straight bridge of his nose, his high cheek bones, and strong raptor brow. This man had to be magnificent and the want to open her eyes were driving her mad.

"Close your eyes, Raven. If I must suffer so must you." The heat of his body radiated from his skin. She felt his hand at her waist. His eyes were wide and deep set, with long

thick lashes that fan onto his cheeks. "What color are your eyes?" Her voice shook from her want to kiss him, to explore the plains of his chest, arms,…but she was not sure she

was ready to offer herself in return. However, she'd never been kissed and she ached at her very core to know how it felt. "What color do you want them to be ma dame." He

said roughly with desire. She thought long, "I don't know let's say green." He chuckled. Then you, ma dame would be wrong but no more guesses; I may find myself lacking in

her beautiful eyes. I do not think my ego would recover from it. Then were would me?" At his words she leaned into him. She laid her head onto his chest. As he wrap his strong

arm around her. His closeness comforted her in ways that she did not understand. "I truly doubt that. Your heart beats so strong Raven. Are you really here with me I'm not

sure I know what real anymore. My life has been one mystery and disappointment after another." She wanted him to hold her, kiss her, she felt safe with him. "I am real Tabby

and so is this." Before she could deny him not that she would have; he pulls her closer to against his body as if they were one. His velvety tongue lick slowly over her top lip as if

her was savoring her. "Do you want me to make you feel Tabby, I will not take your body but I can make you feel pleasure, wanted, needed, and powerful. Say yes mon ange. I

can show you how I see you through my eyes." Tabby's heart hammered so hard it pounded in her ears. The sound was deafening and she wanted to lose herself in his silken

words. Her body melted against the hard length of him. "Yes, Raven. I've lost the one man I've…wanted. I feel empty and numb inside. I just want to feel like…like…I'm not

invisible." Raven stood still as stone. Holding her body against his own. No words pass between then and Tabby thought that maybe her words angered him. She could hear his

heart beating a tattoo against her own. Did he know what she felt, the emptiness, the need to feel something, anything. Well if he didn't she would have to make sure he knew

she needed him, "Yes Raven...make me feel…beautiful." He push her away gently, "I don't need to make you feel beautiful Tabby, you are in every way. My desire for you is

driving me to make mistakes, like being here tonight. I should go before I ruin us both…but I cannot. Not before I leave you with this. Tabby thought that he would simply kiss

her and leave; she couldn't be more wrong. Raven lift Tabby up into his arms, kneading her bottom in his large hands. "Wrap your legs around my waist." It wasn't a request and

he made her feel so alive. Tabby's back collided with the chamber door as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Tabby licked the tip of his eyes not know what drove her to.

"What are you doing to me Raven? I don't know if I can keep my eye closed like this…"She moaned as he bit into her neck, "Tabby you're a Goddess that deserve to be

worshiped. I could make you feel so…"He moaned as he rubbed his hard length against her thigh. "Do you see what you do to me. Don't move Tabby or I can't promise that I

won't take you here and now." His mouth was hot and moist against her neck making her core liquefy. Suddenly the world twisted into nothing as his lips devoured hers; in an

intertwined play of longing and need. He tasted of mint and honey. How did something so dangerous taste so good. The slow strokes of his tongue made her dizzy with want for

more; of what she did not know but she wanted it but... Suddenly Malcolm's eyes stole into the moment of bliss making reality crash them back to the shore. "Raven, we

mustn't. This…this isn't right. My heart is too confused. I want this but not like this. Give me sometime…please." He leaned his head against her neck breathing her in. "Is it

him?" She nodded in agreement but for what reasons. He would never be hers; but her heart still belongs to him. "He didn't not want me Raven; but my heart is tied to his." He

put his hands on the door and push away from her. "Then he's blind…you never promised me anything Tabby and nor I you…I couldn't if I wanted to. I just wanted...I must go. I

will not touch you again…unless you ask me to." He chuckles easing the moment for the both of them. She could hear his footsteps walking away and he pulled at her very soul.

She did not want him to go; but she did not want him to stay. She knew he was her weakness and someday she may not be able to say no. "I will come to you with my final

request of you in two days. I need you to know your beautiful Tabby don't deny yourself. If you want…him… then you must make him yours. Show him the real you. Show him

the fire that you gifted to me this night…I will never forget it…you were as sweet as I thought you would be…Goodnight, mon ange." She heard a door close and her eyes

opened to an empty chamber. "Goodnight my beautiful nightmare." I must go face Malcolm. Will this ever end. Can I make him see me as Raven does or do I want to when

there is no hope of anything more?" She slipped into dry clothing and headed toward…what…she did not know. Her lips still burn with the passion of Raven kiss and it consumed

her thoughts more than she cared to admit.


End file.
